英语小笑话三则, 爆笑

orientalwolf

1.<br />Math Class <br />Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math <br />problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.. <br />&quot;Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot <br />one with your gun, how many would be left ?&quot; <br />&quot;None.&quot;, replied Johnny. &quot;&#39;cause the rest would fly away.&quot; <br />&quot;Well, the answer is four,&quot; said the teacher. <br />&quot;But I like the way you are thinking.&quot; <br /><br />Little Johnny said, &quot;I have a question for you now. If there were <br />three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, <br />the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which <br />one is married? <br />Well,&quot; said the teacher nervously, &quot;I guess the one sucking the cone?&quot; <br /><br />&quot;No,&quot; said Little Johnny, &quot;the one with the wedding ring on her <br />finger. <br />But I like the way you are thinking..<br /><br /><br /><br />2.<br />Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, &quot;Mom, what are those things on your chest?&quot; <br />Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast <br />tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten. Johnny didn&#39;t <br />forget. <br />The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, <br />always quick with the answers, says, &quot;Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your <br />mommy dies, we can blow them up and she&#39;ll float to heaven.&quot; <br />Johnny thinks that&#39;s neat and asks no more questions. A few weeks <br />later, Johnny&#39;s dad comes home from work a few hours early. <br />Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, <br />&quot;Daddy&#33; Daddy&#33; Mommy&#39;s dying&#33;&quot; His father says, &quot;Calm down son&#33; Why do you think Mommy&#39;s <br />dying?&quot; <br />&quot;Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy&#39;s balloons and she&#39;s screaming &#39;Oh <br />God, I&#39;m coming&#33;&quot;<br /><br /><br />3.<br />The priest in a small Irish village loved his chickens that he kept in the coop behind the church. <br /><br />One Sunday morning before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. <br /><br />He knew about the cock fights in the village, so he decided to question his parishioners in church. <br /><br />During mass, he asked his congregation, &#39;Has anybody got a cock?&#39; All the men stood up. <br /><br />&#39;No, no, that wasn&#39;t what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?&#39; All the women stood up. <br /><br />&#39;No, no, that wasn&#39;t what I meant either. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn&#39;t belong to them?? Half the women stood up &#33; <br /><br />&#39;No, no, no, that wasn&#39;t what I meant. What I really really mean is, has anybody seen MY cock?&#39; <br /><br />Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.

苏拉

还不错啦<br />   <br />第三则最好笑

AltWerther

<!--QuoteBegin-FindingNeeo+28.06.2007, 12:38 --><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(FindingNeeo @ 28.06.2007, 12:38 )</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteEBegin-->the 1st one is funny...<br />[right][snapback]1350374[/snapback][/right]<br /><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd--><br />每况愈下。。